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The Devil's Cookies

 
Tru Fax: the Girl Scouts work for Lucifer.  

How else do you explain the annual ritual of sacrificing my your will power to The Cookie?!

Every year, my boss buys a case of cookies from one of his banker buddy's kids.  AN ENTIRE FUCKING CASE!  And not only that, but this damn Curse Box has every Hell-inspired kind of Girl Scout cookie crammed into it!

                                                                    
                                                                                      Picture courtesy of bakingbites.com

Ever wonder why the evil cute little Girl Scouts on the boxes are always so happy and smiling?  

That's 'cuz they're going to suck out your lifeforce once you break the Magical Seal and begin eating!
 

I'm  We're all doomed, I tell you...DOOOOOOOOMED!    



*nibbles on another do-si-do and contemplates Death By Tagalong*

Comments

( 14 comments — Leave a comment )
whimsywinx
Mar. 6th, 2008 09:56 pm (UTC)
I'm really partial to the Samoas. Although death by Thin Mints is always good, too.
sarie_wanderer
Mar. 6th, 2008 10:01 pm (UTC)
Hey, I'd help you eat them if I could, totally self sacrificially, really, just to help you not sink so far down into cookie hell....

Luckily I don't know anyone with a girl scout, so I'm limited to the cash I have on hand when I run across a public display of the evil cookies. Otherwise I would probably empty my bank account for a year's supply of Tagalongs. Not that I could afford a year's supply, considering how fast I go through them.

Anyway, now that I know about Lucifer, I'm glad I got out when I did, never having made it past Brownies.
oceantriana
Mar. 6th, 2008 10:19 pm (UTC)
My niece is a Girl Scout...so we ended up buying 8 boxes. It was worse when hubby's niece was also a Girl Scout and we would end up with 20 boxes.

The first thing we do is put them in the freezer...of course, they stay there only long enough to freeze and then we almost break our teeth eating them.

I like the Samoas...and the Tag-A-Longs...and the Thin Mints...
sammyluvsme
Mar. 6th, 2008 10:48 pm (UTC)
LOLOL

Crap. Now I want a thinmint.

*grumbles*

Thanks alot.
originalcindyr
Mar. 6th, 2008 10:51 pm (UTC)
Have I ever mentioned that all THREE of my girlies are in Girl Scouts???

Have I ever mentioned the fact that there resides in my deep freeze enough of those darn colorful little boxes with the happy, laughing girls on them to build a small castle?

Have I ever mentioned the amount of overtime that is necessary to work to pay for that small mountain of colorful boxes.

Don't talk to me about the evil lurking under those colorful badges and shiny faces ... trust me I know.

Now then ... where did I put that box of All-Americans?
bardicvoice
Mar. 7th, 2008 12:22 am (UTC)
Cruel, Rap, cruel - now I'm thinking cookies. The thin mints were always my downfall ... and then there were those Samoas ...

... and there's cherry pie in my fridge, my Dean-tribute celebration of the early renewal news. Guess I'll love me some pie ...
zofia27
Mar. 7th, 2008 01:26 am (UTC)
Mmmmmm....Samoas! LOVE those! I'm actually bummed because a co-worker mentioned getting them from her kids friends. Usually several parental units are work are pimping the Girl Scout Cookies but I haven't heard anything this year. I hope I didn't miss it!
raputathebuta
Mar. 7th, 2008 02:10 am (UTC)
I brought home 3 boxes last week. Tagalongs, Do-Si-Dos, & Lemon Chalet Cremes (are those new this year?).

Oh yeah, I still have half a box of Tagalongs in my freezer from last year. Do you suppose they're still good?

*sigh* I suck.:(
koosh2012
Mar. 11th, 2008 07:20 pm (UTC)
Yes. Tagalongs freeze for centuries. Pepperidge Farms Milanos freeze most excellently as well... Not that I know this from any kind of *ahem* personal experience.
raputathebuta
Mar. 12th, 2008 01:19 pm (UTC)
Those Milanos are baked by Satan himself! I used to have a dessert recipe that called for Milanos, pie filling (pie!), & cream cheese (I think).

Holy crap...now I'm hungry.
koosh2012
Mar. 12th, 2008 05:29 pm (UTC)
Oh god. Crushed up Milanos make up the crust, right? That is a very demony concoction. I'm not a huge, huge cookie person - partial to chocolate & like my chocolate by itself - but man... MINT Brussels, all crunchy & delightful. I hate it when Albertsons has their cookies on sale. The cookies are, you know, right by the self check out machines and the stupid little sale signs are all bright and enticing. I won't buy them full price, but who can resist a flipping sale, you know? Hmmm, a mint brussel would taste really good with my coffee right about now!

Edited at 2008-03-12 05:30 pm (UTC)
panns
Mar. 8th, 2008 02:58 am (UTC)
Well, I was going to say something witty, but for some strange reason I'm now craving cookies.

Gotta go! ;-)
psychoactivtoad
Mar. 8th, 2008 02:59 am (UTC)
I recently had the overwhelming urge to walk up to a girl scout selling cookies and ask, "Is that you, Lilith?"
koosh2012
Mar. 11th, 2008 07:18 pm (UTC)
Hahahaha... I don't know what's funnier to me, Rap. The fact that you posted this, or the fact that you posted it on the very day that I got blind-sided at Shopko by one of the devil's minions all cute and doned up in pig-tails. It's impossible to say no to them, you know? I was proud of myself for getting away with only two boxes (that had a shelf life of two days, apparently).

One of my colleagues in LA used to buy them by the case and had to share in order to ameliorate the guilt... We literally ate the damned things year-round. Just when you forgot about them, out popped a couple of more boxes next to the frigging fax machine and printer.
( 14 comments — Leave a comment )

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